The Agony of Defeat

Have you ever embarked upon a plan that you weren’t so successful at fulfilling?  I have been struggling on this post for a few weeks now.  I must admit defeat, throw the white flag in the air and launch my tail between my legs.  For those of you who know me…what I really need is to unload a particular foster dog before I get too attached and keep making dog references!  Truly though, my confession is that I am not going to run the half marathon.  I cannot even lie to you or myself and say that I will run it next year.  I am not cut out for 13.1 miles and quite frankly neither is the Energizer Bunny.

I have struggled to make the call on the half marathon.  I could tell you that my back has been hurting quite a bit the last few weeks.  It wouldn’t be a lie.  But I don’t want that to be the reason I am throwing in the towel.  I just simply can’t get past the mental aspect of running for 2 hours.  I have tried.  I have convinced myself that it is like going to a movie or taking a quick flight to Florida.  But no.  I cannot run 13.1 miles.  I am simply not cut out for it.  My brain will not allow me to advance more than 5 ½ miles before it screams, “Stop you idiot!”

I am however cut out for 5K running!  I really enjoy running a 5K, several times a week in fact.  What I love about the 5K is that you can do it on a Tuesday.  I find myself pushing to meet the 9 minute mile or less on a 5K.  And let’s face it, the 5K fits my lifestyle.  No more than a 30 minute commitment.  Just enough time to forget about the 23 emails that will fill my inbox while I am out hitting the hard pavement.

Through this agony came several revelations regarding my body and mind on not training for a half marathon.

  1. Who really runs the duration of a feature length movie?  It’s asinine.
  2. The time it took for me to admit it wasn’t my cup of tea, set me back a month on my quest for healthy living.  I seriously stopped running for almost two weeks.  I thought that one of my text message buddies would notice and send me a swift virtual kick to the butt, but they didn’t.  And you know, I don’t blame them or hold resentment of any kind for not receiving that kick.  I know it is up to me to get on the street and run my fat off.  No one else can do it for me.
  3. Only you have the power to commit to yourself. Be honest with yourself and let that guide you the rest of the way.

Happy running half marathon suckers!  I will be happily running alongside Dr. Meghan the second weekend in May at the Miles for Moffitt Run in Tampa, FL!  All the money raised from registration and donations funds a cure for cancer.  Dr. Meghan has also promised me wine with lunch after the race is over.  Let’s hope it’s at Datz!


Meet Patty, the adorable foster dog that I am hoping will not make me a Foster Failure!
This is Patty, the adorable foster dog that I am hoping will not make me a Foster Failure!

10 thoughts on “The Agony of Defeat

    1. It was really hard to admit because I am a very competitive person. So I felt like I was giving up to easily. Thanks for your kind words and thanks for reading my blog!

      – Shelley

  1. I had the same mental defeat when I realized I couldn’t hike Pike’s Peak in CO. I cried standing at the base of the mountain realizing my own physical limitations. At least you didn’t wait until the starting line for your reality check. Here’s to the realists in life!! Woo hoo!

    1. I’m glad you can relate Steph! I’d rather be honest with myself now and continue to enjoy running at my own pace and distance than to have gotten to that start line and ended the race never wanting to run again!

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    1. Elise – Here’s a tip for you…You need to get a life and perhaps get a job that does not require you to speak to other human beings. This is something that can be useful for you. My theme is far from ugly, unlike you. Get off my blog.

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